If a parent association was accessed in an `after_find` or
`after_initialize` callback, it would always end up loading the
association, and then immediately overwriting the association we just
loaded. If this occurred in a way that the parent's `current_scope` was
set to eager load the child, this would result in an infinite loop and
eventually overflow the stack.

For records that are created with `.new`, we have a mechanism to
perform an action before the callbacks are run. I've introduced the same
code path for records created with `instantiate`, and updated all code
which sets inverse instances on newly loaded associations to use this
block instead.

Fixes #26320.