This moves a bit more of the logic required for dirty checking into the
attribute objects. I had hoped to remove the `with_value_from_database`
stuff, but unfortunately just calling `dup` on the attribute objects
isn't enough, since the values might contain deeply nested data
structures. I think this can be cleaned up further.

This makes most dirty checking become lazy, and reduces the number of
object allocations and amount of CPU time when assigning a value. This
opens the door (but doesn't quite finish) to improving the performance
of writes to a place comparable to 4.1