Integrated Trainer of Parameter Server (API add `fluid.contrib.layers.sparse_embedding` only) (#22957)

* Integrated Trainer of Parameter Server

* Make optimizer consistent in dygraph and static-graph and remove some LOG-INFO

* test=develop, bug fix for sparse recorder

* update pserver decay blocks

* update distributed notify handler

* bug fix: invalid learning rate decay in pserver async mode

checkpoint for distributed training.

* wip

* wip

* refactor no.1 dir structure test=develop

* fix linking test=develop

* fix includes test=develop

* fix build test=develop

* fix build test=develop

test=develop

Fix code to support cpplint syntax check

test=develop

* wip

* add ref_by_trainer_id op

* ready to test

* fix ref inputs

* refine rpc_op_handle

* fix merge bug

* make deadline configurable

* configurable deadline

* update

* fix grpc deadline exceeded