[Kunlun]Multi xpu dygraph performance optimization , add distributed.spawn support for multi xpu and some bug-fixes (#31130)

* [ROCM] update fluid elementwise op for rocm (part10), test=develop

* update, test=develop

* address review comments, test=develop

* [ROCM] update fluid operators for rocm (part3), test=develop

* fix clang format error, test=develop

* fix sycn training error

Change-Id: Ie2feebcf0b5b2984fd59cfcdde0c817840e203d2

* [ROCM] update fluid operators for rocm (part5), test=develop

* address review comments, test=develop

* fix typo, test=develop

* add n-d input support for trt scale converter

* add flatten for ut

* fix dims

* support trt serialize when load model from memory

* delete conv_bn_fuse_pass before tensorrt, with which trt serialize engine id is not stable

* Revert "delete conv_bn_fuse_pass before tensorrt, with which trt serialize engine id is not stable"

performance degradation, fix in the future

This reverts commit fa6cd17e60b15df351efda379ddd00e9e9c1fea9.

* add delete conv_bn

* delete path when delete_cache_files

* lamb_op_xpu;test=kunlun

* modify lamb_op_xpu.cc;test=kunlun

* delete atol lamb_op_xpu; test=kunlun

* update xpu.cmake;test=kunlun

* test_error 1e-5,lamb_op_xpu;test=kunlun

* error1e-5,lamb_op_xpu,test=kunlun

* delete atol lamb_xpu;test=kunlun

* modify atol,lamb_op_xpy;test=kunlun

* lamb_op_xpu;test=kunlun

* lamb_op_xpu;test=kunlun

* lamb_op_xpu, XPUOptest;test=kunlun

* lamb_op_xpu;test=kunlun

* lamb_op_xpu;test=kunlun

* lamb_op_xpu;test=kunlun

* lamb_op_xpu;test=kunlun

* lamb_op_xpu;test=kunlun

* lamb_op_xpu;test=kunlun

* lamb_op_xpu;test=kunlun

* lamb_op_xpu;test=kunlun

* lamb_op_xpu;test=kunlun

* lamb_op_xpu;test=kunlun

* lamb_op_xpu;test=kunlun

* lamb_op_xpu,modify xpu_cmake; test=kunlun

* lamb_op_xpu;test=kunlun

* lamb_op_xpu,modify xpucmake;test=kunlun

* topo and memory performance for heterps; test=develop
* add trainwithprofiler in heter trainier; test=develop

* add clip_by_norm on kunlun, *test=kunlun

* opt matmul and matmul_v2 on kunlun, *test=kunlun

* optimize unity build, test=develop

* fix compilation error on Windows, test=develop

* fix compilation error, test=develop

* fix code style error, test=develop

* Optimized the adaptive_avg_pool2d op when output_size == 1

* [Custom OP]add PD_THROW and PD_CHECK for User error message

* PD_THROW and PD_CHECK, fix comment

* fix Windows error message

* fix Windows error message

* fix CI