1 update xccl lib
2 when using comm_ctx, the allocator should be set manually.

* Fix reduce func bug in process_group_bkcl

Also catch up with a recent process_group PR that failed to add XPU branch.
Note that reduce is still accomplished by allreduce for xpu. Fix this should
xccl lib be updated.

* fix compile issue for non-XPU

* comm_context and static init

* refactor: move to phi/core/distributed

* refactor: avoid mutable_data usage

* fix: windows sock

* fix: device without nccl
Co-authored-by: Wen Sun <syl1887415157@126.com>

* refactor: use base class

* fix: incorrect deps

* fix: add missing header

* refactor: update class structures

* fix: bkcl typo

* fix: remove redundant def

* nullptr bugfix for XPU pg mode

Also a few kernels is added to xpu whitelist

* increase error msg length

Note: this is a temporary solution, should be replaced once reduce kernel
is natively supported on KL2

* correct sync behavior for XPU distributed training

XPU support event mechanism similar to cuda event, so it is advisable to
use an event to sync compute/comm streams for performance. However this
mechanism is never fully tested, and inconsistent loss/ending_epochs are
reported. Therefore, this PR replaces event sync with stream waiting as
a temporary solution.

* remove compile warning

* fix device id issue for xpu eager

xpu device id is not correctly set in eager mode, thus vars are on dev0 unless
XPUDeviceGurad is called, leading to this error message for all node rank != 0:
"NotImplementedError: (Unimplemented) Place Place(xpu:0) is not supported."

* fix typo

* fix pybind error

* refactor: simplify send, recv interfaces

* refactor: rm send_partial, recv_partial, all_gather_partial

* XPU support eager mode

* add unittest for XPU eager mode

* minor bugfix

* minor bugfix, test=kunlun

* correct copyright info

* 1. remove unsed vars/funcs
2. ProcessGroupBKCL inherit from ProcessGroupStream

* bugfix for fp16 in eager mode multi-card, test=kunlun

* rebase & fix a few issues

* use new processgroup interface, test=kunlun

* fix compile issue, test=kunlun