Use a simple set of 6 enumerated values for the socket states (CON_STATE_*)
and use those instead of the state bits.  All of the con->state checks are
now under the protection of the con mutex, so this is safe.  It also
simplifies many of the state checks because we can check for anything other
than the expected state instead of various bits for races we can think of.

This appears to hold up well to stress testing both with and without socket
failure injection on the server side.
Signed-off-by: NSage Weil <sage@inktank.com>