Make cancels reuse the aborted read/write op, to make sure they do not
fail on lack of memory.

Don't issue a cancel unless the daemon has seen our read/write, has not
replied and isn't being shut down.

If cancel *is* issued, don't wait for it to complete; stash the slot
in there and just have it freed when cancel is finally replied to or
purged (and delay dropping the reference until then, obviously).
Signed-off-by: NAl Viro <viro@zeniv.linux.org.uk>
Signed-off-by: NMike Marshall <hubcap@omnibond.com>