* fix cache key in concat oneDNN kernel

* key simplified

* add relu forward kernel and backward kernel

* replace mask vector to raw ptr

* launch nms on context stream

* remove redundant mask declaration

* add dict/str/list supprot for DataLoader. test=develop

* fix engine key in trt int8 calibration

* fix unit test

* add softmax_switch for softmax_with_cross_entropy_op, test=develop

* delete using EigenMatrix in softmax_with_cross_entropy_op.h, test=develop

* add REGISTER_OP_VERSION for softmax_switch attr of softmax_with_cross_entropy_op, test=develop

* remove the send/recv of tensor size, but users have to specify the shape of the received var explicitly.

* bugfix for test_cholesky_op

* bugfix for test_compare_op

* bugfix for lookup_table_op

* bugfix for affine_channel_op

* - introduced fix onednn 2.2 version

* - compilation fix

[Kunlun]Multi xpu dygraph performance optimization , add distributed.spawn support for multi xpu and some bug-fixes (#31130)