Integrated Trainer of Parameter Server (API add `fluid.contrib.layers.sparse_embedding` only) (#22957)

* Integrated Trainer of Parameter Server

* add retry for prefetch

* Revert "Fix/sync barrier (#25016)"

This reverts commit be6a315f.

* reopen dist UT, test=develop

* remove fl UT, test=develop

* fix sync barrier with barrier monitor, test=develop

* test=develop, bug fix for sparse recorder

Heartbeat for distributed async training.

Unset unittests http_proxy env to avoid timeout.

* wip

* wip

* refactor no.1 dir structure test=develop

* fix linking test=develop

* fix includes test=develop

* fix build test=develop

* fix build test=develop

* wip

* add ref_by_trainer_id op

* ready to test

* fix ref inputs

* refine rpc_op_handle

* fix merge bug

Optimize selected rows for dist lookup table with rwlock 

* refine regularization for selected_rows

* clean lookup_table

* refine rpc_server_test

* temporally disable rpc_server_test

* fix rpc_server_test

* add unit test