* fix the bug of reusing different types of variables in memory_optimiz… (#16547)

* fix the bug of reusing different types of variables in memory_optimize_pass, test=develop

* disable SELECTED_ROWS AND LOD_TENSOR_ARRAY reusage, test=develop

* only use the latest version variable for inplace strategy (#16736)

* bug-fix, test=develop

* tweak code, test=develop

* cherry-pick PR 16547,16736,16739 test=release/1.4