原文:http://mp.weixin.qq.com/s?__biz=MzI5MzQ0NjMyMw==&mid=2247484851&idx=1&sn=b65a4fd761dc8c5af0baf2b532d76aaa&chksm=ec70b26fdb073b79574ce6796a327b18a622e4405869787f09910f5e70067f7071c4f74e964d#rd
大家写作文的时候开头一般会这么写:With the development of society/technology..., 这个句式曾是香饽饽,但后来辅导机构说这个开头已经被用滥了,于是我们换成了"as society/technology develops"......
风起于青萍之末。要想写好作文,还需要回归外刊。在第四期外刊精读与写作的第六、七单元,我们分别做了人工智能、在线教育这两个话题的《经济学人》精读,又从《纽约时报》等其他外刊中寻找到相关话题的文章,进行了泛读,学习了一些表达,最后,我们分别以人工智能、在线教育的利弊为命题,借鉴了外刊中的内容、语言,写了两篇作文。
像这种利弊/观点类话题,开头一定要先介绍背景,也就是“随着...的发展,...应运而生”。
如何表达?
在读了《经济学人》、《纽约时报》后,学员摆脱了"with the development""as ... develops"这样俗套的句式,使用的句型句式也呈现出多样化的特点,比如A:
Recent years have witnessed a spurt of progress in AI technology,...
“时间+see/witness等词”可以表示“在...期间,发生了...”,spurt的意思是a sudden increase in sth. 能够体现出一种迅速、突然的感觉。
这句话的意思是:最近几年,人工智能技术迅猛发展,...。
这一表达源自2018年2月17日的《经济学人》文章:Artificial intelligence: Peering into the black box. 原文是这么说的:
Handing complicated tasks to computers is not new. But a recent spurt of progress in machine learning, a subfield of artificial intelligence (AI), has enabled computers to tackle many problems which were previously beyond them.
将复杂工作交由计算机处理并非新鲜事,但最近人工智能的一个分支——机器学习突飞猛进,这使计算机能够处理很多之前无法处理的问题。
B同学是这么写的:
As the internet has found its way into people’s everyday life, online higher education is enjoying a rising popularity among individuals of all stripes.
find one's way into...用的非常生动形象,赋予the internet以主体地位。B同学的这句话是说,随着互联网进入了人们的日常生活……,这和“随着互联网的发展”所表达的意思是一样的,因此,“随着...的发展”也可以用"find one's way into..."来表示(注意:这里谈的是写作,不是翻译。)
这个表达源自《纽约时报》,原文是这样说的:
Increasingly, the innovations that are making their way into your personal technology aren't physical electronics or gadgets at all.
我们在“外刊中的“无灵主语句”现象”中讲过“无灵主语”,其实这一句也可以看成“无灵主语”与“有灵动词”的结合。我们改成简单句的形式:The innovations are making their way into your personal technology.
“无灵主语”是”innovations”, “有灵动词”为”make their way into”,虽然没有“人”,但”make their way into”就把句子意思激活了。
新概念三 15 课也出现了这么一个句子:
Very few of and the fifty pence pieces and the pound coins I have given him have found their way there.
我们看一下学员C的开头:
...But with internet technology entering higher education...
Enter用的没有问题,但比较生硬,如果我们把它改成find its way into,句子则增色不少。
所以要先尝试着动笔写,然后再和外刊做对比,才能发现差距,从而更有针对性的提高。
我们再来看学员D的开头:
Online courses are springing up nowadays...
spring up也是一个非常好的表达,意思是“迅速发展”,取“spring n. 春天”之意。比如:
New Internet companies were springing up every day.
每天都有很多新的互联网企业涌现出来。
也可以用mushroom来替换. Mushroom是“蘑菇”的意思,蘑菇有个特点,就是长得很快。所以,mushroom名词动用时可以表示“快速发展”。这个我们在“外刊中有哪些表示“上升、增加”的词语或搭配”中讲过。
学员E:
The ever-burgeoning MOOCs, short for Massive Open Online Courses, promise a bright future.
大型开放式网络课程,简称“慕课”,获得空前发展……
burgeoning是一个高级词汇,意思是:developing quickly. 比如,中国中产阶级迅速崛起,就可以说:China's burgeoning middle class.
《经济学人》曾经有一篇关于中国对非投资的报道,文章引言是这么说的:
Western worries about China’s burgeoning influence in Africa may be overblown.
西方可能过于担心中国在非迅速增加的影响力。
Overblown的意思是bigger or more important than it should be 夸张,过分渲染,相当于exaggerated. 比如:an overblown news story 过分渲染的新闻报道,an overblown dream 不切实际的梦想。
除了以上这些,我们还可以用be roaring ahead(咆哮着向前,体现出发展势头猛烈), boom, explode(爆炸,体现出发展迅速), move ahead等代替development、develop.
最后和大家分享一下我写的作文,若有错误或不足之处,欢迎批评指正!
题目:线上高等教育之利弊。
With the burgeoning technology, traditional universities were suddenly being exposed to threats. While online ones, which promise to be a supplement, or even a replacement, have caught the eyeballs all over the world. Will online higher education become widely accepted, or, will it just become a flash in the pan, dying in the cradle? That is a hot question.(背景介绍、引出主题)
Online education brings benefits. One is the access to lifelong learning. As the world becomes automated, jobs risk being lost, which requires people to top up their human capital throughout their life to fend off being replaced. Second, as an internet-based education, it can reach a wider group at a lower cost. Third, online universities outperform their offline peers by providing more flexible courses. Thus, students can choose those that are in need or interesting.(线上教育的优势:①终身学习,应对挑战;②受众广泛,成本低廉;③课程灵活,按需选择。)
Pitfalls also stand out, however. In the degree-hungry world, that the new form of education cannot provide credentials is the top concern. Even if it does, there will be a lag between the introduction of such new credentials and their widespread social acceptance. Moreover, universities are not only a place to learn, but also a place to socialize, to debate, and to inspire. Unfortunately, this is what the online education lacks.(线上教育的劣势:①缺少学位,难被认可;②缺乏社交)
Perhaps the best way is to combine the two. With their marriage, online education is more likely to prosper than fade.(总结:线上线下优势互补,线上前景光明。)
P.S.:线上教育也是英语考试写作热点话题之一,平日里可多加留心。
希望通过这篇文章,不仅能让大家学会如何清新脱俗的给一篇作文写开头,还能掌握一种写作训练方法,即回归外刊,阅读大量同话题的文章,梳理内容、总结语言点,并仿写、对照、修改。
感谢阅读!